Hello friends!

Are you ready for the last part of this fun series? I’ve so enjoyed sharing our answers to the amazing questions you guys asked, and this week is no exception. Read on for a discussion of what most surprised us about marriage, a phrase I use that confuses Sully greatly, and our opinions on pickles. Enjoy!

21. What are the greatest strengths and weaknesses in your relationship?

S&A: We’re both patient and not hot-tempered, prone to anger, or to yelling at each other. And we’re generally great at caring for one another. No matter how frustrated we are at the other person, we always know we’re loved by them and they’re not going to leave. But we also get in painful arguments as every couple does, something not helped by our tendencies to be defensive and take life too personally. Sully tends to react over-dramatically and Allison tends to react over-sensitively.

22. What has been the thing that has most surprised you about marriage (good or bad)?

S: I was kinda surprised at how much time being married occupies. That’s a good thing and a bad thing – the upside is that I’m never bored and the downside is that I’m always busy. But I’ve found that the quality of life improves with how much you challenge yourself. I’ll gladly work a lot harder if I know I have someone I’m working for.

A: I can’t think of anything wildly surprising. I’m not sure I expected some of the hard things to still be so hard, even after dozens of conversations. I also didn’t expect to still have so much fun together just doing life, or to keep being delighted when Sully does something cute/funny/talented even though I’ve noticed the same good attribute a hundred times. Oh, and it’s surprisingly hard not to joke about one’s spouse to other people. Sully is a great sport and doesn’t mind being joked so it’s not really a problem anyway. But yeah. (Sully wanted to show everyone that we were using a remote to take these pictures, HAHA.)

23. Is there anything about your marriage experience so far that seems to go against the common stereotypes or advice about marriage?

S: Either the “honeymoon phase” is a myth, or I’m in for a cold dose of reality in the future. Growing up, I figured that whenever older couples would talk about how their love has “only gotten stronger,” they were just making that up to be nice. But nope, it’s entirely possible for your love to grow stronger, even after only a few months. Fingers crossed it’ll always be this way.

A: Well, Sully goes against a lot of the stereotypes of husbands. He’s plenty good at expressing his emotions and his love for me through compliments. I guess one thing is about the “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” advice. I’m not sure if we’ve actually gone against it, but I do know that often times an argument can be solved easier by going to sleep instead of trying to hash it out late into the night. We’re not our best selves when we’re sleep-deprived, heh.

24. What is a phrase that your spouse says the most often without even realizing it?

S: It’s not so much what Allison says as it is what she doesn’t. She – along with the rest of her family – has a habit of leaving off the ends of sentences as if her meaning was clear. It usually isn’t. Reply in the comments if you think you know what “The tomatoes are all.” means.

A: Haha this is a fun one! Sully often uses the phrases, “Bear in mind that…” or “If memory serves…” And he knows he says this one but when I thank him or praise him for doing something I appreciate, he says “That’s what husbands are for” a LOT.

25. Do you feel like your family relationships outside of your marriage have changed since your marriage?

A: They have shifted a little for me – my family members feel a bit less like family and a bit more like friends now that I’m not living with them and don’t get to see them as often. I’ve actually quite enjoyed the change. I love going to my family’s house for lunch after delivering hay and catching up on their news, carpooling and conversing with my siblings, or talking housekeeping with my mom. It’s been a fun new side of my family I didn’t really experience before.

26. How do you stay close to extended family?

A: I work for my dad’s hay business part time so I’m over at my family’s farm a lot. Plus we currently go to the same church as my family and siblings do, and have a monthly family meal together. We usually hang out with Sully’s family on Sunday evenings and sometimes throughout the week since most of his siblings live within an hour of us. Being near to both our families is currently one of the biggest blessings in my life!

27. Who’s more talkative?

S&A: Most of the time, definitely Allison. Although when Sully’s really passionate about something he can talk for quite a while.

28. Have you ever heard of the five love languages? Do you ever apply it to your marriage or do you think it’s useless?

S&A: We answered this question in our first Q&A here. In our experience, any of the love languages resonates with us when our spouse does it sincerely out of love.

29. Dill or sweet pickles?

 S: NEITHER.

A: Both!

30. If you had one song and Bible verse that encapsulates your and Sully’s relationship, what would it be?

S&A: Our Bible verse and song choice go together here. Early on in our relationship, we resonated with  Steven Curtis Chapman’s hymn “His Strength Is Perfect,” whose lyrics echo the truths of 2 Corinthians 12:9, which is perhaps our mutual favorite Bible verse. Learning to live humbly before God and one another by admitting weakness is a necessary prerequisite to receiving strength from the Lord or from one’s spouse.

Ah, that was so much fun. I hope you guys enjoyed getting to know us a bit better! I personally enjoyed reading Sully’s answers. He’s so articulate, sweet, and hilarious, isn’t he? 😀 Anyway, I’ll be back from vacation soon with mountains of pictures, so be on the lookout for exciting posts coming up!

Thanks so much for reading, my friends, and have a lovely day!

***Allison***

P. S. I’m wearing my favorite special dress from Baltic Born. We took these pictures with my Nikon D7200 and a 50mm lens + a remote (aff. link). Edited with Lightroom.